Tuesday, June 14, 2011

1 Year

Today is the anniversary of my brother's death.

Sometimes it feels like it happened so long ago, sometimes like it happened yesterday.

I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I got the call from my dad. Feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest, the blood rushing like a windstorm in my ears, the disbelief, the terror, the sadness, the pain.

The details of that day are carved into my soul. I still miss him every day.

I don't think losing someone you love gets easier. You just learn how to cope with it better. You learn to live with the little hole in your heart; it may get smaller over time, but it never goes away. And that's okay. It helps to remind me to be thankful every day for the good things in my life, and to tell those close to me that I love them.

Thank you to all of the wonderful friends who have helped me and supported me through a pretty hellish year. You're a good part of the reason I'm doing okay.


  1. Rella,

    I'm thinking of you and your family today, and sending so much love and light your way. These anniversaries are so,so hard. May you be held today, and every day, with tenderness for the loss you carry.

    So much love,

  2. Rella, I don't think that any of us who love him will ever lose this ache. Rarely a day goes by when I don't think of him. He was Aryeh's brother in all the ways that counted and much beloved. He is missed.