Wednesday, February 9, 2011

When Reason & Logic are Twisted

I had a little bit of a crying jag earlier this week; it had been an incredibly long day at work (13 hours, to be exact), and I was trying to relax by watching CMT (Country Music Television) which was just playing music videos. One came on about servicemen in the military who had been injured in combat. One had lost his leg below the knee, and one had been blinded. Yet in the face of adversity, they figured out how to make it through and thrive again in life.

I burst into tears. How can they find the strength to live and my brother couldn't?

I have to catch myself at this point. I struggle every day to understand what my brother must have felt like, what could have made the world look so black to him. Ironically, it probably was a twisted version of reason and logic that played into my brother's suicide. For someone in the depths of depression, death seems the most logical choice.

I just wish for once he wouldn't have been so logical.

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